Musings after incidents
by SadisticBloodPLay
Summary: Cloud is haunted by a dead Sephiroth..or is he dead?


_**A/N: Cloud, Sephiroth, Tifa (c) Tetsuya Nomura. **_

This is my first fanfic ever, so enjoy, might make a better version later. /a/n

_"Have you ever got that feeling that you were always falling? It wasn't only a sinking feeling..or just one of those fucking short bouts of depression, more like.. everything you do..has fucked you up some way, some how. Yeah..that's how I feel right now, fucked..royally fucked..but I guess that is normal for me, life goes on..despite the fact I feel like a virus plaguing the Earth..."_

Yeah..it was one of those days, nothing new, or old for that matter. Just the same thing..surprisingly. It had been quite some time since the big "incident" as most would put it, yet the effects are still looming about. What was the exact reasons for all these bizarre mood swings he was having? Why was he remembering everything that didn't matter much anymore? Crystal blue hues narrowed against the bright morning sun, not something you really want to see when you wake up in such moods, you know? But hell..what could you do nowadays.

"Damn it.." Cloud murmured, taking a hand to shield his eyes. "Really should work on arranging this damn house.."

A year to be exact. A year since the "incident." You know which one I am talking about, Sephiroth and his yearning for god-like power. Become one with the world, become god. What the hell..why was he remember him? That silver haired bastard put him through so much shit and now he is remember everything. So vivid..as if it just happened the day before.

"What a fucking time to remember that load of crap.." he said with a yawn, cracking out his tensed back. "I mean..damn..I killed him and he still haunts me in some way, shape, or form. He must be like Hojo..a cockroach that always comes back.."

Ok..so maybe he was just relapsing, such things are traumatic, so says many psychiatrists and the like. Yet deep within his being..Cloud knew something was really odd. Perhaps...no..it couldn't be. That thought was quickly pushed out of the Chocobo's brain and he let such things stay at rest.

"Well..suppose I should go do what I had planned.."

With that being said, he rose from the comforting bed and wandered about, slipping on whatever articles of clothing that lay on the ground. Seeing as he had no reason to dress in his warrior outfit, most of his clothes were now casual. A pair of jeans, black sneakers, a t-shirt, and a black hooded jacket adorned his form. After a quick look in the mirror, and a stop in the kitchen for a morning snack, he was out the door.

"Let's see...Tifa said to meet her in downtown Midgar...but where.." Cloud paused for a moment trying to place where he was.

Flicking a few blonde strands out of his face, Cloud set off throughout the city, aimlessly wandering hoping to find his destination. The people here..they all looked the same, happy, as if oblivious to who he was. Maybe they didn't much care..he only saved their asses from destruction. Eh..oh well, the people of Midgar were always ones to look a gift horse in the mouth. After walking for sixteen blocks, he finally paused and took a break, leaning against light post.

"I guess Tifa has a right to say 'Blonde is a state of mind.' I have no idea where I am.." Cloud whimpered.

_Kuraudo..._

"Eh..?"

A familiar voice..one he had heard before. Sweet..like a choir, but..but where did it come from? Jerking his head upward, Cloud scanned the area looking for the source of the noise, but failed in finding it. Taking a gulp of air, he took off in the adjacent direction and never looked back at the area. How odd..to hear such a thing, maybe the heat was getting to him, yeah that was it, heat. Just the heat. After a few moments of running, not because of fear more so for shock, Cloud stopped at his destination. Blue hues eyed the Cafe, and after catching a breath or two, in the door he went. Tifa sat at a table near the back. She stood up waving a hand frantically at the other trying to gain his attention.

"Oi! Kuraudo! Over here!" She called out to the ex-SOLDIER.

Nodding his head slightly, Cloud scuttled over and took a seat across the table, a faint smile on his face.

"Took you long enough.." Tifa began, "I was beginning to think you got lost, what happened? Weren't the directions I gave you clear enough?"

"No..it isn't that at all. Just had some weird things happen on the way here..that's all nothing big."

"Ah..well, things like that happen. What happened though? If you don't mind me asking.."

Cloud blinked a few times but slowly began.

"Well..was just hearing things, someone calling my name, it must've been the heat or maybe it was someone calling me. Whatever the case, they didn't get my attention."

Cloud offered a small chuckle, Tifa followed suit with a small giggle of laughter.

"Oh, I ordered for you, hope you don't mind, I ordered your favorite." Tifa said happily.

"Ah! That's nice."

Tifa started up her normal chatter. She was like a school girl, gossiping about god only knows what. Cloud did the casual thing, smiled and nodded to everything said. He was still a little transfixed on the voice he heard earlier. So familiar..ever so familiar..Soon, he was lost in his thoughts. After several attempts at trying to place the voice he was startled to reality.

_Kuraudo_..

As if smacked across his pretty face, Cloud thrusted his body upward in shock, nearly knocking the waiter over. Cloud jerked his head right and left to take in the images of everyone there, but to his amazement all that sat before him were just a bunch of Midgar citizens, all of which were eyeing him and his sudden outburst.

"Kuraudo..you ok?" Tifa tilted her head in puzzlement.

"Yeah..I'm fine..urm.." He quickly turned to the floor to see what sort of mess he made. He made a quick effort to clean it up but was shooed away by the waiter he said he would take care of it.

"Kuraudo..maybe you should go home, you look a little sick." Tifa smiled faintly.

"But what about..lunch and all that?"

"Don't worry, your health comes first, we'll worry about our lunch later."

"Urm...ok."

Taking his leave, Cloud bustled hustled out of the Cafe and down the several streets he had passed before. _What **was** going on? Who are you? Why are you bothering me? _The thoughts ran rapid in his mind. Eyeing a red light, he stood there calmly, looking at the other side. Within in minutes, Cloud's eyes were wide, as he saw a tall male, with long flowing silver hair pass and pause at the other side of the street.

_Kuraudo..onegai..come to me._

The voice rang in his head, so clear now, not muffled or small. The silver haired male crooked a finger in Cloud's direction, as if to say 'Come here.' Cloud stood there, almost paralyzed by the sudden sight.

"Se...SEFUROSU!" He cried out.

His voice was high pitched, almost child-like, and a little sob was heard behind it. Could it be..the thought he had displaced before, that he threw aside. His pulse quickened, and his heart felt like it was about to burst from his small frame.

_I love you..Kuraudo._

The voice, so beautiful, like an angel. Cloud, without any thought to his actions took off across the cross walk, towards the tall silver haired male. He was slapped back into reality by a truck horn, which caused him to jump back. Once it passed by, Cloud quickly looked up and his eyes watered. The tall silver haired male was gone. Cloud stood there.. a little dumbstruck, until he broke into frantic sobs, tears streaming down from those gentle blue eyes that once screamed hate at that man.

"Sefurosu...I LOVE YOU!" He said curling there in the street, only to grow dizzy and to pass out.

What had happened that day? Was it just his mind playing tricks on him..or was it that the other was still alive..still there. Cloud had figured out why he was remembering the other, exactly why..he was longing for him, missing him. He..was in love with him. After that day..Cloud looked so depressed everyday..and every night before he fell into a deep sleep..

"I love you Sefurosu.." he would whisper before his eyes shut.

_I love you too._


End file.
